Taking misgendering seriously in hospitality

Understanding and respecting people's gender identities, including the use of their correct pronouns and names, is an important aspect of acknowledging and supporting their identity and well-being. Misgendering can play a big part in affecting someone's mental health negatively. Particularly in FOH roles, when interaction with random humans is inevitable, misgendering can happen frequently and impact the mental health of your team. 

Let’s start with the basics - get clued up on what misgendering is!

Misgendering refers to the act of addressing or referring to someone using words, pronouns, or terms that do not correctly reflect the gender with which they identify. This can happen intentionally or unintentionally and can involve using the wrong pronouns (e.g., calling a person who uses "they/them" pronouns "he" or "she"), titles (e.g., addressing a non-binary person as "Mr." or "Ms."), or even using incorrect gendered language more broadly. 

Many people misgender unintentionally, but this is still misgendering. Once a person knows someone’s pronouns, and decides not to use them, they are intentionally misgendering on purpose which is discrimination.

Misgendering can be harmful as it invalidates a person's gender identity and can contribute to feelings of disrespect and alienation, perpetuating a decline in someone’s mental health.

How to support someone who is being misgendered while working in hospitality:

Take it seriously:

Take the time to ensure people understand the importance of pronouns and use them from the off, to set an inclusive tone in the workplace. Encourage employees to share their pronouns in email signatures and introductions if they feel they would like to. 

Provide Resources:

Distribute educational materials that explain gender identity, the importance of correct pronouns, and the impact of misgendering.

Employee Resource Groups:

Support the formation of LGBTQIA+ employee resource groups to provide a platform for support and advocacy within your business. If your business isn’t big enough for this check out Queers in Food and Beverage.

Lead by Example:

Encourage leaders and managers to model inclusive behaviour by consistently using correct pronouns and addressing misgendering when it occurs.

Feedback and reporting mechanisms:

Ensure there is a clear channel that an employee experiencing misgendering or other forms of discrimination can formally report what is happening. In some instances it can be possible to set this up anonymously but in smaller businesses it might not be possible . Regardless of business size, find a mechanism in which your management can accommodate time for the person and what they have reported.

Visibility of Policies:

Ensure that non-discrimination policies are visible and accessible to all employees, both online and in common areas.

Accountability and Follow up:

Regularly monitor the implementation of policies and training effectiveness, and make adjustments as necessary.

Addressing misgendering by the public during a busy shift.

If a member of the public is misgendering your staff, there are reasonable adjustments you can make to ensure your member of staff can work safely. 

Firstly, foster a work environment that allows the staff member to come to you if they are feeling uncomfortable about being misgendered. It is not up to them to explain why this is difficult to experience for them, either to you or to the customer.

Consider whether it is possible to switch the table or section with another staff member. Giving the member of staff the option to do this allows them to work safely. They can choose whether or not they would like to take this help, giving them power over the situation.

Operate a zero tolerance policy to outright abusive behaviour towards your staff, like you would in any other practice of your anti-harassment policies. The mental wellbeing of your staff should be at the heart of your operations - trust your team and allow them to inform your understanding where the line is between challenging customers and those that are overtly harming your staff’s mental health.

To find out more about the help and support Kelly’s Cause can provide email hello@kellyscause.com.